Hello Hopeless

So. I went to the gym yesterday. I was an utter embarrassment. There are only 2 treadmills in the gym and a middle aged lady was using one of them. She was short, a little plump and was going at a steady speed.

I turned on the unoccupied one, got on it and decided to set it for half an hour of cardio and weight loss. Each button you press goes 'teeeet' (I decided against spelling it 'tit' because you know, I'll be all tit tit tit and it just doesn't seem appropriate).

Reason why the boyf calls me pizzaface.
(at least I don't look that round anymore :/ )

After keying in my weight and height and so on, I was ready to go but I just couldn't get it to start. Teet teet teet teet teet, still no movement. Finally realized I didn't increase the speed. Clearly an idiot.

My goal was half an hour. I started with a jog. Three minutes in and I began panting, the aunty beside me steady as ever. I pushed myself for a bit more until I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. Teet teet teet teet teet teet teet teet *lowering the speed for a brisk walk*...okayfineitwasn'tbrisk.

'Must *breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out* start *breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out* jogging *breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out* again!' So I start jogging again. Another few minutes and I felt like dying. Why the heck do people want to torture themselves like that? I just don't get it.

While the aunty beside me jogged steadily THE WHOLE TIME with increasing speed, I was doing the waaaaalllkkkk jog waaaalllkkkk jog waaaaalllkkk jog STOP sequence. Thought to myself, 'Alright nobody spends that little time on the treadmill, what more the gym. Maybe I'll lift weights.'

I picked up the lightest 2 and followed instructions on some poster. Two minutes later, I was out the door. The aunty? Still on the treadmill. After that I tell the boyfriend, "I went to the gym today." He smiles bright like the sun and says, "Oh yay, good for you!" *smug face*