Story of my life

Change

People change. It's a fact. Change is often followed by a sense of unfamiliarity, the very reason why some people hate it. There's nothing comforting in unfamiliarity, unless you find comfort in the unknown...or in discomfort. But what if people are just discovering themselves each time?

I used to be a people pleaser (typical tween years) then I changed because it doesn't work for me. It was tiring and it costed me too much. To some people, this could have been a bad change, because now my 'services' are no longer available. To me? One of the best darn things I've ever done for myself.

I think change is scary, but it can be good. We change to cope, to grow and to find, all with the goal to just be happy. With that said, I guess I understand. I can't say I accept or support all changes, because some are too hard or goes against my principles. Whatever the case, at least I understand.

(Of course there are downright bad bad bad changes, like getting addicted to alcohol or drugs and being totally irresponsible etc then it'd be a different story, obviously. Donchu try to be smart with me!)

Automatic Crap

Automated things hate me. They hardly ever see me coming. It's as if I'm invisible. I can walk right up to automated doors and they just stay freaking closed! Someone else would have to approach the door for it to open. Like what??!?!? It's not just doors. The taps too. I have to do all kinds of stupid (possibly offensive) hand gestures before ever washing my hands.

The one automatic crap I wish would ignore me sometimes and leave me alone though is the darn toilet flush. Halfway peeing and the flush decides it's its time to shine. 

Growing Up

Whenever I think about turning 21 this year, I'm like, heck, I don't even remember having 20 birthdays! Da crap? I can't be that old. 

Birthdays I remember: the time I had a big kiddie birthday party, the time I was such a hormonal depressive teenager my friends should have beaten me up instead of getting me cake, the time my friends surprised me in my sleep (to which I could only begin to react after they had all gone home because I WAS thaaaat slow), the one where I freaked out about singing in front of a crowd, the time my boyfriend went for a stupid marathon without training then fell sick and the time my boyfriend decided it'd be fun to be in Canada away from me for 4 freaking months.

So if I do the math, I should be...6 and turning 7. Now that just makes more sense. Okay so the truth is I clearly don't want to grow up. I'm dreading adulthood and I'm pretty sure adults understand that. They pay bills, run errands and be all adult-y and stuff.

When you're young, you think freedom comes with independence. The fact is you only gain freedom from your parents (that doesn't mean they're completely out of your life, I just mean you call the shots now) but you become a slave to the world. Independence is not another word for freedom for sure.

The world be like, WERK. Give us all your moneh! Pop babies! Wake early or no breakfast! Make decisions! Think! Don't drink and drive! Slave to the world right there. (Seriously though, don't drink and drive.)

It's just so hard being an adult.  What if I screw up?

Food Glorious Food

I am so blessed to be able to stuff myself with so much good food. The problem is that the better food you eat, the higher your standards. Suddenly all the crap you used to love taste like real crap. Being brought up in a food haven like Ipoh certainly didn't help. Having a talented cook like my late grandma didn't help either. (I swear by her taste buds!) 

Now that I'm studying in Singapore, it's so hard to get value for money when it comes to food. It's as if I have to fork out 5 to 20 times the price (compared to Malaysia) for a good meal. Fortunately, I live with my uncle's family and my uncle is such a good cook! (His awesome food blog, a tribute to my grandmother: www.foodcanon.com) 

Honestly, the reason I look forward to each new day is simply because my tummy is empty and ready for the coming 5 meals! Yes 5 (or more), because I eat for fun so much I end up having frequent small meals rather than 2 to 3 big ones. Apparently, it helps keep your metabolism going. What a happy coincidence! Hah. 

I get so upset after an unpleasant meal because I feel so dissatisfied. All that wasted stomach space! Guess it's time to tap into my (hopefully existent) raw cooking skills and churn out some good food for myself. Soon. Or later. Maybe when I'm older. And living alone. And have no choice but to cook for myself. :/ I don't even know why I blog about these things.

Living Responsibility

I think we owe it to ourselves and the people around us to be responsible for our own lives. Enough with the overdoses and suicides and accidents due to irresponsibility. Value yourselves, for heaven's sake. 

The pain you put people through by leaving prematurely is unthinkable. It's a torture to feel so torn in such an event. I would mourn for you but at the same time I'd be so mad that you were so irresponsible. Is that really the last feeling you ever want to put people through? Being torn that way is such a horrible feeling so stop being selfish and cruel and think about the people who actually care for you.

If you don't think anyone cares for you at all, then you at least owe it to yourself to care for yourself. Don't expect the world to cradle you and sing you lullabies. If you think that's too hard, well it's time to think again. Stop wallowing in your little puddle of mud and get out. Stop trying to run away. Stop putting your worth in things that will depreciate.

If you don't want your life, give it to something worth it like improving the lives of other people. If you don't want to live for yourself, live for someone else. At least it's put to better use. Find value in yourself. A lot of people wish they could live longer so don't you dare treat yours casually or throw it away.

Don't any of you people I know dare leave this world irresponsibly. I'd be really mad. Sad but definitely mad! 

Minion

Hi this is Stuart the minion. Finally, someone to do my bidding.

Now I have this little guy to applaud my every move. Sho adawabuwl! Totally making him clap for me ALL THE TIME! HAHAHA.

Aren't I quite the genius? *clap clap clap*
Confidence level over 1000! Okay, totally cheap thrill but I like!

Yay for the boy who queued and got it for me! Stuart the minion claps for you. (Oh and you're my minion too.)

I don't think I'll ever get bored of that gif. Haha.