The Malay Idiom that Describes My Life

I am no longer a big fish in a small pond. I've been thrown into a vast ocean called law school.

Except this ocean is drying up and the puddles are few.

So I flip about for dear life.

Nyawa-nyawa ikan.

Swimming

I don't know what possessed me to go swimming tonight. Something about the calm glistening waters that lures you to jump in.

Struggled through 1 lap then dragged my feet back home.

I was reminded of 3 things:

1. It's rather daunting underwater in the dark.
2. But so magnificent to look up into the glittery night sky as you drift across the surface of the waters.
3. The voice in my head that vehemently reminds me of how much I dislike swimming is almost always right.

Legs be wobbling.

The Night Sky

I dreamt of the night sky again. The stars lit the darkness like spilt glitter. The void surrounded me yet I was comforted.

The planets lined up to greet me. I could breathe in the vastness of the sky. I could breathe. The beauty of it all was so vivid, I was happy. I didn't want to wake up. 

But then I did.

Mean

"Why you gotta be so mean?"

"It's the only way I know how to make friends."

Adults

The scary part about becoming an adult isn't the increasing responsibilities; it's in realising that adults don't know any better and yet, are expected to.

Adults are just better at pretending. They pretend they like things they don't, that they don't care when they do or that they are happy when they are not.

Adults lie too. They just get better at covering it up. In fact, adults lie to themselves more than they do to others. They just get better at believing themselves. 

Adults make mistakes. They are just better at rationalising their way out of it.

Adults make mistakes. Constantly.

Perhaps the only comforting thought is that wisdom doesn't come with age, it comes with experience. At least this way, you learn to forgive adults. 

The Girl Who Chased After Bubbles

"Once there lived a girl who loved bubbles and because she did, she would often chase them. Little did she know, the more she chased, the more they disappeared. She chased and she chased, until the bubbles were all gone. Then she realised she should have just sat back and enjoy the view instead."

"What's the point? Even if she sits back and watch the bubbles float about, they'd still disappear."

"I suppose she realised that she could only make the best of it's ephemeral presence by enjoying the view. After all, some things are meant to disappear. Foolish, don't you think, how people waste their breaths chasing them anyway, thinking they could hold on to them?"

Run

I always feel like running

But I can't run 

I stay because I can't run